If you’re a working mama, you know that childcare is one of the most critical decisions you make. There is nothing more important than feeling comfortable that your child is well-cared-for and loved while you are away at work. Second to that is having an arrangement that is reliable so that you don’t have major stress on a regular basis about how to care for your child and also take care of your responsibilities at work. The childcare conundrum can easily be the most stressful things about being a working mom. The good news is – if your initial decision and arrangement isn’t working for you, then you can make a change!
Many of you have probably heard me mention on Instagram that we made a change in our childcare arrangement about 6 weeks ago. I’ve basically been professing my love for our new nanny and arrangement ever since. I’ve been wanting to share the details of our experience, why we made a change and what we’re loving about our new arrangement, but I wanted to give it a decent bit of tie first to really give a complete assessment of what I see as the pros and cons to each.
Hudson started in daycare at 3 months old when I returned to work after my maternity leave and was there for a year before we decided to make a change and joined a nanny share with another family. Those are the 2 childcare options I am most familiar with and have actual experience with, so I’ll mostly focus on those 2 options, but will share what I learned about other options I researched as well.
Daycare
We initially chose daycare because it made the most sense financially with 1 kid, and also it *seemed* to offer the most consistent care that allowed for flexibility of hours (open 7am-6pm each day). We don’t have family around to help us with Hudson, so consistency/reliability is KEY, and neither of us have set hours or work shifts so sometimes we might like to drop off and pick up earlier and some days we might want to drop off and pick up later. Daycare seemed to offer that flexibility within a range of hours.
Daycare in Charlotte is NUTS. As in, I got on 3 waiting lists for 5-star centers (the highest rating in NC) 3 days after I found out I was pregnant (hadn’t even told my family yet) and we are STILL on 2 of them over 2 years later! But we did get lucky with the timing and got into one of the centers we liked, that was highly rated and recommended. Here’s my take on it after a year:
- I never questioned whether Hudson was well taken care of and loved by his teachers. We still use one to babysit sometimes if the nanny isn’t available!
- Hudson seemed to love being around other kids, and they always seemed to be having fun and doing cool activities (story time one day a week with a lady that brought puppets to go along with the stories, a garden on site that the kids planted and tended to, great playground with areas for different ages, water play on Wednesdays in the summer, etc.).
- The teachers pretty much stuck to his schedule. I was really worried about this when we started because he was on a great schedule and started sleeping 12 hours straight at night around 8 weeks and I did NOT want to mess that up, especially since I needed to not be a zombie at work.
- That being said, he never napped very well there. He still napped at the times he should have (for the most part), but just not for very long. He probably got about half the amount of total nap time at daycare as compared to what he got when he was at home. But it never impacted his sleep at night, so it seemed ok. Once we made the switch and he was napping regularly during the day, I realized how much happier he was in the evenings, so in retrospect, I think the less than ideal napping at daycare was making him overtired and causing more fussiness in the evening than the norm for him.
- Our daycare provided breakfast, lunch and an afternoon snack included in the cost. Since the cost was pretty substantial, and in order to not add one more thing to my overly full plate with food prep/packing/sending, I wanted to take advantage of that and have him eat the food provided. BUT I didn’t love the quality of food being provided. It wasn’t terrible, but it seemed like about 50% of the time it was really processed stuff packed with sugar and unnecessary/unnatural ingredients. I’m not super crazy about this, but I do think eating real food is important the majority of the time, and also worried that if he got too used to processed, sugar-filled foods than he would become a picky eater and only want those things.
- As is always the case, Hudson was sick a lot while in daycare. He probably had it a little worse than some because he is really prone to ear infections (thanks to his mama who was the same way and ended up with tubes for years as a kid). So he had some type of sickness that was worse than a cold/runny nose probably once a month. Most of the time those were ear infections, which weren’t too big of deal except that he would get a low fever from them and then have to miss school (anything over 100 degrees and they have to go home and stay home the next day). So that resulted in a good bit of missed time, which meant Luke or I had to stay home from work (no family around to help). A handful of times he had a more serious illness (hand foot and mouth, summer flu-type virus, stomach bug, croup), which of course is no fun. Luke and I were also sick way more than ever in our lives, as well, from all the germs he brought home. It just seemed like a constant cycle.
- The range of hours was convenient…when he could be there, which brings me to the final point…
- In addition to all the sickness, there were also A LOT of days that the center was closed for random reasons (“hurricanes”, “snow days”, power outage, teacher work days, etc., etc.). It was honestly once a month. I put “hurricanes” and “snow days” in quotations because Charlotte is extremely overreactive to weather situations. The public school system here cancels for any little thing, and the daycare policy is to cancel when the school system does (which I have never understood). So between that and the sickness, there was some reason he couldn’t be there basically every other week. This wreaked havoc on our ability to keep up at work, and to enjoy our kid and family time. Oh and of course, we still pay for all those days. So when you work out the hourly rate we ended up paying for the days he actually could be there, it ended up not being as “low cost” of an option as we anticipated. It just wasn’t working for us.
Nanny Share
As Hudson approached a year at daycare it was becoming clear that it just wasn’t providing the reliable service we needed. He would be moving up to the next class shortly after he turned 1 and getting used to something new anyway, so it was a good time to make a change if we were going to make one. We started considering some other options (which I’ll include a little about below), and ended up having a great opportunity basically fall in our laps to join an established nanny share with another family of a sweet toddler around Hudson’s age and a wonderful nanny. It has been a complete game changer! Here’s the rundown:
- Nanny share arrangements can look different depending on what the 2 families and the nanny decide, but basically it’s 2 families that share the cost of the nanny who cares for both kids. It’s great for families that have 1 kid and don’t feel they need (or want to pay for) 1 on 1 care. Honestly, I think Hudson would be bored without any other kids around. So the nanny has the 2 toddler boys and alternates which house she’s at each week. We live about 5 minutes apart from each other, so it’s pretty easy.
- The nanny is AMAZING – loves the boys so much, is so sweet and flexible and helpful, and Hudson already adores her. I feel like she’s already become a part of our family. Hudson seems to learn new things daily – she works on colors, numbers, animals and sounds, shapes, etc. with them. It’s also been amazing to have someone that knows Hudson so well and that he’s comfortable with for date night sitting, and we’re actually taking our first overnight trip away from him next week and she is keeping him overnight one of the nights!
- When thinking about a nanny share, I was always a little skeptical of the risk you’re taking going into an agreement like this with another family, especially one we didn’t previously know. We met this family through a friend, so that certainly helped, and they have honestly already become great friends. We’re very similar, and both pretty easy going and flexible, which has worked out really well! And Hudson and the other little boy love each other and have so much fun! He is 2 months older than Hudson, so a perfect little playmate!
- As far as logistics, we each have an extra high chair at our house (the $20 Ikea one), and each already had a pack n play for travel that we set up in our guest room with a white noise machine the weeks that it’s at our house for the visiting child to nap in. The host family each week buys all the groceries for both kids breakfast, lunch and snack throughout the week, and the nanny preps/cooks all the food and cleans up after. They already had a double stroller that kind of “came with” the nanny share, so we take that back and forth on Monday morning of each week. So it didn’t really require much as far as purchasing additional gear or set-up. We have talked about figuring out a way to have car seats for both of the boys in the nanny’s car soon, so that she can take them to story times and playgrounds (whether that means moving one of ours to her car during the week or buying a 3rd one). But that’s certainly not required.
- The extra help around the house the weeks that the nanny is at our house has been AMAZING. Obviously her top priority is the boys, but they both nap for 2-3 hours every afternoon at basically the same time, so she does have a little time. She preps/cooks the boys food and cleans up after (which basically ends up meaning we have food prepped for Hudson for the week for dinners too and the kitchen is always clean), cleans up their stuff/toys at the end of each day, and does the boys laundry as needed (generally 1-2 times per week). It’s not considered part of her job responsibilities, but she always ends up doing extra stuff like vacuuming, emptying the dishwasher, and has offered to do our laundry too. So basically…she’s an angel.
- Another nice perk is that the weeks they are at our house, I basically have an extra 20-30 minutes in my day since no drop-off or pick-up is required. That doesn’t sound like much, but it’s actually been huge for getting a little extra work done when needed or fitting in a quick workout or errand.
A few other options we considered
- In-home Daycare – To me this seems like kind of a middle step between daycare and a nanny – a little more homey and extended family feeling, but also a little less regulated which made me a little unsure. There is one fairly close to us that was highly recommended and I did just a tiny bit of looking into. It took up to 5 kids with, I believe, the 1 caretaker. I wasn’t quite sure how this worked as far as back-up (I mean, she has to go to the bathroom at some point, right?). I’m guessing there must have been another person there at least part time. The kids ranged in age from newborn to 5 years, which I also wasn’t too sure about.
- Morning Preschool and Afternoon Nanny – I looked into this a little too and it seemed like it maybe could work out financially to be about the same as daycare, but seemed like it might be risky from a consistency standpoint. You’d really have to find the right nanny that only wanted part time hours and could consistently do every afternoon. I think those positions can be tough to fill. I have heard recommendations to look into the preschool teachers, since they only work there in the morning and are already there and could just take your kid home after (sometimes with their preschool-aged kid also, which could make the cost less).
- Au Pair – This isn’t an option we can consider right now, given the size/layout of our home and the fact that you have to provide room and board for them, but the idea does intrigue me. It’s something we’ve talked about and will put more thought into once we have another kid (and at some point, a bigger house). It’s definitely one of the most affordable childcare options for 2+ kids (even when you factor in the additional costs of another adult living with you), but you have to be OK with having someone live with you. Everyone I’ve talked to that has gone this route has had nothing but wonderful things to say about it.
Whew! That was a long one! If you’re still here, thank you! Sorry to be long-winded, but I wanted to make this as thorough of a resource as possible for those trying to make this tough and very important decision. My biggest piece of advice is if you feel uncomfortable or unsatisfied with your childcare arrangement, or like it just isn’t working for you for any reason, you CAN make a change and make it better!
Xo,
Shannon
