I’m sure every working woman that has/is about to have/plans to have children has anxiety at some point about some aspect of being a working mom. Whether it’s concern about not being able to be the best mother or not being able to be the best professional (or both), there is plenty to worry about.
While I was pregnant I often wondered how having a baby would impact my work life. I’ve always known that I wanted to continue to work; I’m very driven and really enjoy my career. It’s part of who I am. I was so excited about adding to who I am by adding the job of mother, but I never felt like that meant I had to abandon the other important parts of who I am, including my career.
I would be lying, however, if I said I wasn’t at all worried about how adding this most important role as mother would impact my professional life.
I’ve always been extremely motivated and ambitious, achieving progress in my career every 2 years or so. I’m proud of that progress and worked very hard for it. Would having a baby change my ability to work hard and achieve the progress I desired at the same pace? Would trying to continue that pace impact my ability to be the kind of mother I want to be? Would I feel like I’m constantly missing out on stuff with my baby or at work, or both? Is it really possible to “have it all”? These were the questions that were running through my head quite a bit while I was pregnant.
Now that I’m a year into it, I’ve had some pretty interesting reflections on how being a working mom has impacted me. While it’s not always easy or perfect, here’s how I feel becoming a working mom has actually made me a better professional:
- Making the most of my time at work – Every minute at work is a minute away from my sweet babe, so I’m not going to spend them doing things that aren’t adding value. This really helps me prioritize and eliminate waste from my day-to-day, making me more efficient and productive. I’m not wasting time with the small stuff.
- Making the most of my time at home – I don’t spend all of my time with my kid, which means I really feel a sense of urgency to make the most of all the time I do have with him. I feel like this results in more quality time with him, with me really being present and enjoying it. This forces me to let the small stuff go when I’m at home too. If I’m obsessing about the house being perfectly clean all the time or a never ending to do list of chores, I’m going to miss out on the windows of time that I do have with my little guy. I’ve really streamlined my morning routine so that I can get a little play time in with him in the morning, as well.
- More focused career goals – Becoming a working mom has really further shaped what I’m looking for as I continue to progress in my career. I’m not just looking for any job with a higher title and pay that is a “step up.” I’m looking for the right thing that I’m really engaged and excited about (and therefore not dreading leaving my baby and going to work each day) at a company that is supportive of working mothers in their policies and practices, and for a boss that sees me being a working mom has a benefit (rather than baggage) and provides the flexibility needed to be the best at both. Finding the “right fit” with these additional criteria certainly won’t be as easy and will probably take a little longer, but I know I will end up in a better position where I am happier day to day because of it, which I see as a great thing.
- As for progressing “up the corporate ladder,” of course there is a small period of time where you can’t really make any moves. At minimum I would think this would be at the very end of your pregnancy and while you’re out on maternity leave. Although, I know some women that are looking to make a move to a different company will start submitting applications and interviewing during their maternity leave. I was busy enough trying to figure out how to keep a newborn alive! A lot of women won’t consider making job changes starting at the beginning of pregnancy, or even when they’re thinking about starting to try to get pregnant, due to the fact that you aren’t eligible for maternity benefits (or federal FMLA which protects your job while you’re out for up to 12 weeks) until after a year of employment at most companies. So that would be a factor if you are looking to switch companies. The “blackout window” (if you want to call it that) might start a little later if you’re looking at internal opportunities at the company you’re already with. Usually that would only buy you a few months, as most people aren’t pursuing major career moves once they are showing and it has been publicly communicated that they are pregnant. There are certainly always exceptions. For me, being pregnant, or even out on leave, would not have prevented me from pursuing a promotion opportunity within my current department if a position had become available. I actually spoke with my leader (who is extremely supportive of families) many times about how I didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity if one arose because I was out and wouldn’t know about it. So I actually gave him my resume and cover letter for the position above mine, should a spot open up, prior to going out on leave. Unfortunately, that opportunity didn’t become available, but I know I wouldn’t have been excluded from pursuing it if it had.
- I’m a better version of me – It’s important to me to always be learning and growing as a person. My work challenges me in this way every week. But so does being a mom! And in a totally new and different way. I’ve never been a patient person. In fact that’s always my answer for my biggest weakness when asked in interviews. Motherhood has taught me a patience that I never thought possible for myself. I’ve been amazed at how much carryover there is in skills that I develop or refine at work to my mom life and vice versa.
- Disconnecting and recharging – I really leave work at the office for the most part, because I have the important work of raising a human to focus on when I get home! There are times here and there where I need to really put in extra time with work and will log in from home after the baby is asleep, but a lot more scrutiny is applied in that decision now. It’s amazing how much you can get done during your hours in the office when you’re really prioritizing your time and working efficiently (as mentioned above)!
Overall, the recurring theme I’ve noticed that has helped me both at work and at home is that I’m much quicker to let the small stuff go and focus on big, important things. There are only so many hours in the day, and I have more motivation now than ever to spend those hours on the BIG things, which has led to greater happiness and fulfillment at work and at home than I’ve ever had!
I don’t want to give the impression that this all just easily and naturally happens, because that certainly isn’t the truth. So Part II of this series will be coming soon and will focus on the things I feel were key to achieving this.
I’d love to hear from the all of you mombosses about how you achieved balance as a working mom. What advice do you have? How do you feel being a mom has made you a better professional and vice versa?
Cheers to a great week!
Shannon
